There is nothing like being ready for love
There is a famous quote which says – “you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.”
How can you expect anyone to love you if you don’t love yourself??
In order to have a healthy and happy relationship with another person, one first must have a healthy and happy relationship with oneself. With the problem of self-love solved, one can expect a loving relationship with another human to naturally appear.
Setting out to love yourself is the only way to gain love from others. Once you love yourself, love from everyone else will fall easily into your lap.
You cannot love or be loved until you can love yourself perfectly fits with our time and our contemporary culture. Nobody deserves love or doesn’t deserve it; the only way people end up in relationships with one another is through random chance, and none of us are ready for it when we do.
My dad’s relationship advice has always been that the best time to meet someone is unconventionally, when you’re in the worst possible emotional place.
I don’t know that this advice is necessarily perfect, but it at least has more logic to it than the idea of some perfect emotional satisfaction.
Extremely emotionally stable people often live without a romantic relationship.
Love neither fixes us nor arrives as a reward for our fixing ourselves. We want to control what can’t be controlled, we want to believe we can win or lose at things that fundamentally resist achievement.
Loneliness Is Not About “Being Alone”
The first thing to understand is that — in most cases — loneliness is good.
Humans have emotions for a reason. We experience “bad” emotions like anger, fear, or sadness because they help (or helped) us survive. Fear helps me run from angry lions. Anger helps me fight off enemies.
When I was lonely, my loneliness pushed me to make friends. It encouraged me to talk to strangers on the street. Without loneliness, I guess I would still be lonely.
Emotions are usually good, but sometimes they go out of control. Sadness can turn into crippling depression. Anger can turn into abusive rage.
A sign that loneliness has gone out of control is that you’re always lonely.
If you’re lonely for a few months after your beloved Grandmother passes away, that’s normal. But if you’ve been lonely every day for the past five years, something is wrong.
Loneliness is a friend
An average person spends almost 80 per cent of their waking hours together with others. Lonely people spend no more time alone than the group who answer that they do not feel lonely. Indeed, in a review of over four hundred essays devoted to the experience of loneliness, one researcher found no correlation at all between the degree of physical isolation and the intensity of the loneliness felt. As such, the actual number of people by whom a person is surrounded is has no relation to the emotion of loneliness.
The most interesting and perhaps most significant thing about the lonely, though, is that they cannot trust others.